Be yourself Irrespective

When I was a child making friends was easy and so was breaking up friendships. There really was no criteria for making friends, as long as we got along, I was good to go. When teenagehood hit, you realise that making friends with the wrong kind of people may negatively influence you to be someone you are not either in a good or bad way. In this stage of life, there are unwritten requirements to form friendships. One of these is having a common ground. Most of the friends I made in my teen years were based on how much I had in common with an individual who I considered to be a potential friend. But it is also at this stage, I learnt about manipulation, back-biting, bad mouthing and pretence. Since then, trust became an issue as you could never be too sure of another's plan for you. Which in turn caused me to act according to my confirmed perception of them. For example, if someone was rude, I ignored them or became equally rude.

Now into adulthood, where life starts, I became wiser through experiences and defined who I am and who I want to become. I am not speaking of goals but rather of character. I am a Christian as you have seen from my previous post and my relationship with God influences my relationship with others. As I learn from the bible which basically states that the fruit of salvation is to have the righteous character produced in my life by Jesus Christ (Phil 1:11), that means I have to emulate Christ in my actions even towards those that know how to press my buttons 😒😒😒. It appeared stupid to others not wanting to fight back or take vengeance. People think you are a weakling, one to be easily taken advantage of, which I at times used to think because it is difficult to back-off or apologise especially when you know you were right, or simply waiting for an apology that probably won't come.

Like most of you out there, at some point, we had to deal with people who smile😅 at you while stabbing💣 you at the back or manipulate a situation to make you look bad which in turn makes them look good. What to do if you've got emulate Christ? Do we put Christ at the corner, deal with those ...... then go back to him again? When we do that, isn't it giving Christ a bad name? Or simply say I am not Jesus, don't you dare blah blah blah. As I mature spiritually, I've learnt to obey principles that make you seem weak and in a religious law filled imprisonment is actually strength and freedom. Its all about perception. Freedom in the sense that when you want to please God, you will definitely displease some people. Actually, I find pleasing people more difficult than pleasing God, since people change often while God remains the same.

I am currently moulding my personality to integrate characteristics of who Christ is. I fail sometimes but in that, I can be the better version of myself. Now back to what I was saying about Freedom. Given some people are😠 annoying, to say the least. But I have learnt that the moment you insult or fight back, you are no better than them. In fact, the negative reaction reciprocated is evidence that the "annoyer" has power over you to become as low as he/she is. So what should one do to avoid the "annoyer" especially if it is a friend? Be you irrespective the better you. Smile and laugh with them like what they did is nothing, I suppose that what the bible meant by "heaping coals". Don't give anyone the power to dim you, the light shining from your persona to accommodate their negative actions towards you. If its a friend who hurt you, forgive, take the time needed to heal, get back and treat that person well, just take the lessons you've learnt from the failed friendship. Remember having freedom doesn't mean it won't hurt, it simply means you don't carry anyone irrespective of what they have done. It is finding the strength to overcome, and not letting yourself be affected much and that is an intentional conscious choice. You are not responsible for what people do to you but you are responsible for how you react and the permission you give the situation to affect you. If you change who you are in response to what they did, you've not only granted them permission to your negative reaction but you've also imprisoned yourself if you fail to forgive and let go. Furthermore, you've deprived yourself of shining like you were meant to.  From those who've hurt you, learn the lessons, heal from it, treat "them" well and be you irrespective and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger💪.